I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
