I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
