Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
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