Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
