How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
