wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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