Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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