i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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