Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
