bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
