At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
