my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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