You can't special order awesome
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
