Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
