At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Please don't give away my fajitas
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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