Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
