do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
