More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
