The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
