so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
