I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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