Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
