You can't motorboat a personality
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The air was thick with penises
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
