somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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