Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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