Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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