So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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