I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
