He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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