Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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