I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
