her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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