honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm like, not good at living.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
