I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
