I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
