Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
