Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
