I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
