I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize