Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
