Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Houston, we have a blender
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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