does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
