can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
