at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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