When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize