I can't watch pbs sober anymore
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
