this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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