No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
