You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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