i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
