just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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