Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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