so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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