I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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