i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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