the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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